You might be a middle-aged, middle income suburb dweller if:

 

tea lights

 

  1. Your friend texts you and asks if you have a bag of votive candles and you:
    1. Know what she is talking about and
    2. Have one handy and run it right over in your minivan
  2. You know and care about the price of gas because:
    1. You drive everywhere including to the corner to drop your kid off at school and
    2. You drive the Mac Daddy of SUVs, the one that doesn’t even fit in your garage…which you found out the hard way
  3. You took six months to replace your garage doors because:
    1. You were overwhelmed by the responses to your Facebook post asking for references and
    2. The doors you chose were backordered and apparently had to be shipped from Outer Mongolia via Antarctica
  4. You leave your purse in the car when you go to your recipe or book group because:
    1. You can. Your neighborhood is really safe and
    2. Everyone has the exact same one and last time you didn’t notice you had your friend’s bag until you got home
  5. You belong to a recipe group or a book group. Or both.
  6. Your daughter tells you a story about how her city friend has to walk three blocks to get to the bus and she:
    1. Can’t believe how far that is and
    2. Doesn’t actually know how far that is
  7. You visit the strip mall twice a day. Just after school drop off and just before school pick up because:
    1. All yoga/pilates/spin/barre classes start at 9:15 and
    2. If you time it just right, you can grab the makings for dinner and a Starbucks latte before hitting the carpool line
  8. You always have a stack of magazines, a book and your iPad in the car because:
    1. Now that you’ve given up your career, you need some way to remind yourself that you have a brain and
    2. Carpool line (see above)
  9. You own a light colored jacket and white jeans because:
    1. No worries about getting dirty when you’re drivin’ the minivan instead of sitting on the subway and
    2. The hybrid, hypoallergenic, supposedly non-shedding dog is blond
  10. You built shelves in your basement to accommodate the glass caterer’s plates, wine glasses (white and red) and chafing dishes you have accumulated over the years but:
    1. You also have some stored in the attic and
    2. You have a friend who has more if you need them
  11. You have a basement and an attic.
  12. Most of the parties you go to are either for:
    1. Pampered Chef, Stella and Dot or Ellie Kai or
    2. The kid down the street, the dance class friend, or the twins from Mini Music Makers
  13. You only know you got into the wrong light grey minivan after preschool drop off because:
    1. You don’t have an infant seat base anymore and
    2. Your car has a much stronger odor of old yogurt and feet
  14. You might occasionally make fun of your life but you wouldn’t change a thing because:
    1. You are one of the luckiest people you know and
    2. You’re too busy decorating your house for the holidays

 

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